The Gift of The Present

Four weeks ago I wanted to be anywhere but in the present moment. I longed for the past, things were simple, was it a year ago I had everything in control? Now things were in crisis- uncertain, confused, and I was scared. What would the future hold? Do I dare think about it? That too was frightening. I was left with the here and now. As much as it was difficult and uncertain, it was all I had. I had to take it minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. I know how to stay present- I teach it to my clients/ patients. I had to practice what I preached. I was good at being in the present- the difference was I never faced a crisis of this magnitude. A life hanging in the balance- a life that would change my life if death were to occur and that was something that I did not want to deal with. Yet, the reality of the situation was I could not control the outcome. What I could control was ME. To breathe slowly and deeply, letting my exhalation release the anxiety and the fear. To view every moment as a gift, that life was precious , and I could not waste a moment worrying about outcomes that may or may not happen. When my mind wandered to the “ what if this or that”, I took a deep breathe and came back to the present- the here and now. My daily practice of meditation- sitting quietly- anchored me in the present and gave me the strength to carry on, to be present for those that needed my strength. Meditation and slow, deep intentional breathing eased my anxiety and fear and are the staples of my daily self-care routine. In times of crisis, self- care is set aside because the pressing matter at hand takes center stage. Feelings of guilt and selfishness erupt within , when in reality, they do harm. It is only when we can care for ourselves , that we are able to be there for others, to be present in the moment, not longing for the past or worrying about the future. . It is only when the tools of intentional breathing and meditation- I call these the staples of self-care- ground us in the present moment that we realize that the present is a gift to be cherished.